Woahg!!!
Posted on: 2026-06-25 00:08:00
PLAYING (played?): Deltarune

Helloo I am eepy. And a bit nostalgic today. I have new and old things to talk about. Work on my new VN is going well. Wel.. is it? I have about 19K words but no other scripting done yet. We take those

Umm I played deltarune chapter 5 today

(INSERT SPOILER BUFFER AAAAAA)

I liked it as I was playing it and there were a lot of cute moments. I have some new characters I like! But I think overall the character work feels a bit lackluster compared to previous… Maybe that’s not quite right. What we see of the main cast is really great but the new characters feel a bit one note in a way that’s hard to pinpoint. The villain especially feels this way. He kind of just feels like a generic guy which is funny. I think Toby writes a lot of guys but most of them aren’t generic. I also… am confused… on why the chapter had a Japanese theme <3 I thought it would be explained in the chapter itself but it straight up isn’t. At least not from what I played. Does asgore have an anime stash or something or is it just the weeb chapter. I don’t know! I think my opinion is just “it was good but not as good as the other chapters” and that’s okay. Also I legitimately don’t know how the fuck the game is gonna wrap up at this point. If the game ends with ten million unanswered questions I’m crashing out

(END SPOILER BUFFER)

Ok well anyway. Been listening to a lot of my old favorites lately. The one I linked above is from a band called Bird and the Bee. They made music in the early 2000’s and I don’t know what you’d really describe it as besides like alternative. That tells you nothing. I don’t know music terms, sorry. But something I’ve noticed about myself is most of my favorite albums of all time come from this era of music. Give Up by Postal Service… the Postmarks’ self titled album… I wonder why? They do sound similar in ways, I suppose… I do think Ray Gun is my favorite BatB album but I like their others too. Ray Gun just has a strange and mysterious … and sometimes… eerie soundscape to it… that I like a lot. Sometimes elegant with an undercurrent of malice, and sometimes lighthearted and lovely. 9/10 it does have a few songs I skip when I’m not feeling it but overall great album.

I am thinking about website stuff lately. I feel like I said that in a recent entry but I don’t remember, so sorry if this is a repeat. To be more specific, I’m just thinking about my sona on one of my website buttons. That’s not me anymore. Not human shaped. Something else. I have my annoying purple cat now, and I need to make site graphics involving That Thing more so people don’t get it twisted… I’ve always identified with cats, I tried to move away from it as a teen because it was a source of childhood bullying, but I embrace it again now. I am fickle in ways a cat is. Maybe it’s not a thing to be proud of, exactly, but it is me.

But another note regarding webdev, I’ve noticed my approach is a lot more cleaner and simplistic than most others. Actually, I’m this way about a lot of things too. Writing, art, music; I feel like I work in blocks and systems, not even in a cool synesthesiac way, just in a boring stupid lazy way. I get frustrated sometimes at my nature, but I wonder if perhaps the patterns aren’t easy for others to see. With websites, I actually get super overwhelmed by some of the other sites people make. I wish I could explore them earnestly, but I dip out decently quickly because the visual stimuli is too much. I’m not even talking about sites that have the big flashing blingee problems but more like, normal websites. I think I’m just silly. I have hyperspecific preferences and rule sets in my mind that are hard to break. It makes me feel quite boring… 

Also, I am thinking about moving a lot. I want to move. I wish I wasn’t unemployed… I wish I was independent. I would like to live with my girlfriend, but I have low hopes of achieving this because I’m not self sufficient. But I think about it and I smile… 
wawa
Posted on: 2026-06-16 22:17:00

Im back from vacation!

so why do i feel so tired?


family vacations stress me out immensely. there were fun moments, but there were a lot of upsetting and awkward ones too, and i dunno if i really care enough to recount all of it on my silly little blog. I had a lot of strawberry daquiris. 

honestly, now that ive been back home, it already feels like it never happened to begin with. how lovely. but time still passed by and i must suffer the consequences. how unlovely.

still stressed about working on my TYVNJ game.. i only got a month left, and yet i am uncompromising on my huge sprawling vision that i want to make all by myself. IS HE STUPID? maybe so. but i will continue working on it and hope for the best! the jam grind is like crack to me. Truth be told, i am terrified, but its hard to quantify why... Do i care about losing? well, winning would be nice, but it's not like i havent lost before... I think I am just scared of making something that isn't good as other people's stuff?! i'm not sure! creative FOMO is a bitch. 

on another note, i have hung out with friends a lot since i got home. playing a lot of repo, my obsession. it makes me happy that people like to play video games with me, even though i am loud and annoying and look back on those moments in a mortified way. 

i don't think i had a point behind writing this entry besides to confirm that i didn't die at sea. still jobless. still balling. GOOD NIGHT.