post-release sleepies
Posted on: 2026-03-05 20:43:00
i am writing this post right after waking up fromn a nap so we'll see how articulate i can be.

i released the demo for Subtractive Runemixer a couple of days ago! i am happy. of course i haven't had any insane huge reponse yet or anything, but that's for a few reasons i think.. first off, Noise Jam 2 got like 60+ entries, so there's alot of other stuff to play too. Speaking of I've played a few of them and they've been peak. i should really figure out some way to display games i enjoy on this website because i can't see myself having the mental fortitude or energy to write a description on everything i play. i play a lot of indie projects, lol.

but, yeah. i feel like a huge weight has been pulled off of me, but also like i have been put in some kind of stasis. I am anxious for more people to see the game, but i also don't want TOO many people ot see it lest they have their fill of my work and then don't want to play the final game when i finish it in, like... whenever mixed media jam ends. 3 months from now? i'm trying to finish it before then. i don't know if i will but im going to try. LOL.

i also jsut think putting it out there might have kneecapped my motivation to work for a bit because i put out a thing people can look at now. i have given myself early gratification... i might also just be fucking tired and need a little break. lol. it's hard to say for certain, my motivation ebbs and flows so unpredictably. we'll just have to see what happens.

something that's been fun to play around with is difficulty. i enjoy making obtuse things although sometimes i undercut this desire because i also feel bad watching people struggle. I find the puzzles in submix pretty satisfying though i've been told they might filter some people out (it was said with a positive intention, by someone who enjoyed them). rpgmaker games are kind of known to be batshit in this regard so perhaps i am returning to my roots? though i think what i make is alittle more logical than some of the classics, lol. i dunno. it's fun to make a "game-ass game" as i've been calling it. Usually i am a narrative crafter but i actually get stuck on those quite often-- with submix a lot of the text in the demo didn't actually get written until a couple days before release! nobody has complained but there are a few snags with it that bother me and i will probably update them in the future. wah. who knows. 
projects + mania
Posted on: 2026-02-11 22:50:00
it is kind of late right now but i've been telling myself i need to write ablog post for a bit so here we are ^_^ first post of the year too.. i think we are past saying "wow, a lot of things have happened between entries!"

currently, i am working on some projects... I have posted about both of them on social media, but not on this website.. one of them is a collab with my dear friend mala and peer basicbean, in which i got to do the music and UI for a visual novel. oh i did some drawings too but i was not the main artist.

i can't say i have ever gotten to do a real collab before. Every attempt i ever got close to fizzled out pretty quickly, or it was just classwork if you count that brief period i was making games in college. I wouldn't, though. Being able to depend on other people is nice. I would love to do more collaborations, i think. the idea of working with other people intrigues me. unfortunately, my control freak-isms and anxiety make it pretty hard.. but i dream about it often, so working on this project is nice. It's also great to not have to draw everything myself for once, admittedly. I think being a singular indie dev is overrated and people shouldn't do it, no matter how much passion they have.

i say that, and yet here i am indie devving my next project...

Noise Jam 2 and Mixed Media Jam ended up overlapping, so I decided I would try to make a project for both.

I decided to try out the MV3D plugin again, since I still don't feel like I've reached my limits with it. It's fun! It is jank as fuck but I like it.

You may remember that my larger project, Beneath the Teal Symphony, is made in this plugin... you might also wonder why I am not working on that instead. Well, I got stuck. Admittedly, I wonder if BtTS will ever get made at this point. But it has a story I want to tell, so I think it will happen eventually. Maybe not in this form, though...


Back to the jam game though, I decided to do something unthinkable and try to add battle mechanics to a game of mine.


the title is SUBTRACTIVE RUNEMIXER. I say it has battles, but I'm thinking they'll be more like simple puzzles... Um. you'll see. hehe. I'm a little worried they won't be fun, but it's a jam game so maybe I shouldn't worry too much.. Plus a lot of RPGMaker games have simple battles used to convey story beats so... yeah.

I've been playing 3D exploration games lately, which inspired me a lot. Specifically, Automaton Lung really inspired the look of the protagonist (and other characters you'll see later). I love big wire going into someone's arm


Another aspect of these games I am taking to heart (since I'm making an rpgmaker game and not, you know, a platformer) is trying to convey a feeling in a 3D space and not worrying too much about the narrative... Basically just trying to make cool vibes. LOL. I do have a story though, and it involves some robot girls being evil towards each other... I hope you enjoy it.

I thought I had more to say, but i guess a lot of this will end up being a "just wait and see" type thing. 

On a similar note of projects and stuff, I replayed my first VN Saturn's Rising Temperature some weeks ago. Wow, it is Decidedly Not Good. I still love it as work from past me, but I think it adds to my anxiety as a creator that only gets larger and larger... I feel like a lot of my current portfolio isn't actually representative of the current me or what I can do. But at what point does my work stop being "me"? perhaps with every piece of art I make, a version of myself is frozen within it, and the real me will never match up.. I think about this type of thing way too much since I released HalOPE, lol. I don't want to fade away into obscurity just yet... That's silly, right?

Well, that's my brief update for February. zzzz